Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

potpourri


Ricky, my soccer hero
Originally uploaded by Beckerbuns
Check out the video I made of Ricky! It's a very preliminary attempt at video editing and it's kind of pathetic but I thought you might all enjoy it. (I mean the video editing is pathetic -- not the subject!)

Ricky had his last day of soccer for the spring on Sunday. He played hard and scored multiple goals. He was only able to play so well the last couple of weeks because he was sick for so long. :( Hopefully in the fall we will have better luck.

If you would like to see the rest of Ricky's pictures and videos from this season of soccer, they are here.

So, tomorrow is Ricky's long-awaited neurologist visit at Stanford. We used to have a pedi neuro in San Jose but he's not on the newest insurance and the docs at Stanford are. This one is highly regarded by Ricky's pulmonologist so he should be worth the wait.

Ricky has continued to have dizzy spells and spells of extreme fatigue. I hope that the neurologist has some ideas, because everybody else has tapped out their ideas. I found the CD of Ricky's brain MRI from two and a half years ago. I am hoping that this might help the doc, though he might want to do an MRI that shows different stuff. Not sure. I hope he will have had the time to review all of Ricky's test results from the hospital stay (echocardiogram, video EEG, etc.) because he had almost a full neuro workup. There isn't much left.

We saw the psychiatrist yesterday. Which reminds me, we finally got Ricky's meds late last week. It was a close call. He was actually out of meds and I was getting desperate, crying in desperation and wanting to throw the phone every time I had another frustrating conversation with the insurance company or doctor's office. Finally what it took was Dr. J, Ricky's psychiatrist, CALLING the insurance company to see what the heck they wanted from him. He had faxed the prior authorization forms repeatedly.

And finally, we are in the process of trying to get a new chest therapy vest from Respirtech. They make a newer, more technologically advanced, streamlined vest machine that can be programmed. (!!!) It is also smaller. We have the giant mondo original vest from Hill Rom and it is completely impossible (well, mostly) to take it on vacation. Hopefully we get the Respirtech vest (depends on CCS and insurance) because it would be great to have on vacations. Other methods of airway clearance just don't work as well for Ricky.

Ricky's last day of school is this Thursday. He has a little break and then has summer school during July. In August we (the three kids and me) are planning on going on a road trip to Oregon and Washington. We'll visit Dave's (Misty's dad) parents, do the tourist thing in Seattle, and then visit Kat in eastern Washington. We are really looking forward to the trip.

Guess that's it for now! Thank you all for keeping Ricky in your thoughts.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

melancholy day bordering on awful


Ricky 4-14-09
Originally uploaded by Beckerbuns
I managed to get to bed at a reasonable time last night. Then at 1:30 in the morning I got a call from Ricky. He had thrown up all over himself. The nurse got on the phone and told me that he'd been having the Go-Lytely through the NG-tube since 6pm and had just thrown up all over. I talked to him and told him things would be okay. He sounded a little scared and sad. :(

Got another call at about 4:20am. This time, it was the nurse. Ricky had had a coughing fit and was having trouble breathing. He was panicking and she needed me to talk him down (he had asked for me). He was wheezing and gasping and sounded AWFUL. I know that coughing and throwing up disturbs the NG tube. I asked the nurse if she'd called respiratory and she said she'd paged the doctor to come listen to Ricky's lungs, and had cranked up his oxygen. I talked to him again and calmed him down and told him I'd see him in a few hours.

After Andrew went to my mom's and Misty was at day care, I drove up to the hospital and got there at about 9:30am. Ricky was asleep. My timing was perfect because right after I got there, a hospital gastroenterologist walked in to talk to me about Ricky's condition. I learned that he had actually thrown up THREE times, and pooped once, although it wasn't very much. The pulmonologist arrived at that time too, and said that a KUB (abdominal x-ray) was going to be taken. The gastroenterologist said that Ricky was plugged up below the transverse colon (which I knew from yesterday's procedure). I told her that I had called Ricky's gastro doc (down here in San Jose) to let her know what was going on and he agreed that was a good idea. At that point I was still waiting for her to call me back.

Right after the docs left, the portable x-ray machine arrived and the lady took Ricky's x-ray.

While that was being done I went out to the nurses' station to chat with the charge nurse, who I knew from previous stays. The pulmonologist was out there and for the first time I heard the "S" word... Surgery. I struck it from my mind and didn't think about it for a long time, but basically what he said was that if none of these interventions worked, we would be looking at surgery. *shudder* He also mentioned that he was very concerned because Ricky's vomit had been filled with green bile. Sorry to be graphic here, but... That was what was in it on Saturday too and it is NOT a good sign.

I went back to Ricky's room. Things were quiet for a while and then the nurse brought in an enema. The x-ray results had apparently come back and this is what the doc wanted done. I never did find out what the x-ray showed but Ricky also pooped while I was there, yay. Still, it wasn't a lot.

Ricky's gastro doc from San Jose called me back and I filled her in on all that had happened. Almost everything she suggested, had been tried. Her final suggestion was simple stool softener, Dulcolax. She said she'd call the hospital gastro team and talk to them about it. I really wish I had called her sooner but it sounds like the docs at the hospital did the same stuff she would have. She has privileges there and was actually there over the weekend seeing another patient. She is going to come see him in the next day or two. She also said that the fact that he does not tolerate Go-Lytely is a "bad sign".

The resident psychiatrist also came to visit and we went over what had been going on. She promised to pass everything on to Dr. J, her colleague, Ricky's psychiatrist.

He slept all morning (probably because he had been up most of the night before? not sure) and around lunchtime the nurse reminded me about the enema. I told her I would wake him up soon to give it to him.

It ended up taking an hour and a half to get Ricky awake and convinced that he needed to have the enema. I had to take his Nintendo DSi away. But finally he let me do it. As has been our routine, he laid down on a blanket and his pillow on the bathroom floor and I did the enema. Then he went back to sleep. I had to leave to go get Misty, and Ricky ended up sleeping there for another hour and a half before he got on the toilet and pooped, but not a lot. I found this out later from the nurse. She said he'd gone right back to bed.

So I got the other kids, visited with my mom and grandma for a bit, and then drove back up to the hospital (with Misty and Andrew). When we got there, Ricky was sleeping. I took the picture you see here at this time. His oxygen saturation monitor probe was malfunctioning, but once the nurse replaced it, he was satting in the high 80s to low 90s. He had been on 6 liters of oxygen since I think Saturday? (minimum with a mask is 6L) and I cranked him up to 8, and then 10, before his oxygen level looked adequate. That was scary. The nurse and the RT this afternoon both said that he was diminished in his left lung. He has been unable to do the therapy vest since all of this started because of his distended belly and the pain it would cause.

After I had left earlier in the day, he had been started on a new medication, Reglan. I had, and still have, my reservations about this med because of the CNS side effects it can cause and the fact that you're not supposed to take it if you have a history of seizures (which Ricky does) or a bowel blockage (which he doesn't strictly have, but might as well have, IMHO). I am trying to let go and trust the doctors. They know about all of Ricky's issues and still want to try this medication. Obviously they wouldn't do it unless it was necessary. We are running out of options.

He had also been started on Go-Lytely in the afternoon, at a very low flow rate so as not to cause the major vomiting of the night before.

Ricky basically lay there and slept most of the evening while we were visiting. He refused his apple juice with Miralax, and only took his meds with broth because I coaxed him to do it. At one point I put on the Simpsons movie DVD for Andrew to watch and Ricky actually woke up and watched the last 45 minutes or so of it. Misty and Andrew went walking around the floor with a child life specialist, and I took that opportunity to get Ricky out of bed to give him his evening enema. He didn't protest at all. In the morning, he'd gotten out of bed quite easily; this evening he had a very hard time of it and was walking like an old man again. :( He got on the toilet only 10 minutes after the enema and pooped just a little bit, and got right back into bed and slept again.

We left at 10pm. I felt (and feel) so brokenhearted. My boy is not himself. His belly is distended, his innie belly button poking out like a pregnant woman's. He shuffles around like a little old man. He can't eat (doctor's orders) not that he would want to even if he could, I think. He is on oxygen because his digestive system is squeezing his diaphragm up into his lungs. He even has to have oxygen from a portable tank when he goes to the bathroom. His lips are angry looking and chapped and he won't let me put Carmex on them. Maybe I will sneaks some on sometime when he is asleep? There is, or was, a large amount of stool in there. There might be some getting out around it, but it's probably not enough. He will certainly require some other intervention this week. It could be an endoscopy, or another gastrografin enema (with scan?), or something more drastic.

I hate things being so out of control. I hate not knowing what the outcome is going to be. I want to make him better. I want to take it away from him and give it to myself.

I want this to be over. I want my boy home with me and healthy, back in school. That reminds me, his annual IEP was scheduled for tomorrow and his teacher has canceled it. There weren't any surprises in store anyway; we'll just meet next month. That's one less thing on my plate.

Guess that is it for now... Goodnight and thank you all for keeping Ricky in your thoughts.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Just another update!

Today I heard from Ricky twice before I got up there... And while I was driving there I heard from a psychiatrist. The nurses or doctor on Ricky's unit had called her in to deal with Ricky not taking a medication -- specifically his Miralax.

When I got to the floor I asked the nurse to page the psychiatrist ans she sat down and spoke with me. I liked her a lot. By the time she got in to see Ricky earlier today, Ricky's nurse had made a contract with him to take his meds even if he didn't feel like it. The psychiatrist and I went over his history briefly and she promised to contact Dr. J, Ricky's psychiatrist (and her colleague) to update him and ask him to call me. So that was that.

Other than that, our visit was fairly mundane. I did manage to snag a tamale for Ricky (his favorite!) in the hospital cafeteria and he ate that in lieu of most of his dinner. He still hasn't been eating breakfast but today I got some specific input from him about what he wanted for tomorrow's breakfast so perhaps he'll eat that.

His sats were still right around 95 so he's still sick. His sinuses sound better but still a bit congested. The nurse didn't know whether there was going to be an ENT consult as was suggested upon admission. Maybe I can find out tomorrow.

That's it for now! Goodnight!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

What a day!


Ricky's new ears
Originally uploaded by Beckerbuns
After I worked and got Misty from day care, I was going to take her for her first haircut (her bangs are WAY too long -- I've been in denial about them for too long). But then I got a frantic call from the classroom aide at Ricky's school. Could I please come and pick him up? He was walking around the classroom drawing on things and not talking to them. I told him I'd be over as soon as I could. I had to go home first and drop off the milk I had just bought.

When Misty and I got to the school, Ricky was fine. He was hanging out outside of the classroom with his teacher. She told me about what had happened. It sounded really weird. There was no precipitating event, nothing that made him mad as happens usually. He walked around the classroom scribbling on other kids' desks and acting like he was going to stab them with his pencil. A couple of kids got very scared and one had to be picked up and taken home because he was pretty freaked out. Ricky proceeded to go into the back room (where the kids meet with the counselor) and continue to write on things, like the white board -- and even his teacher when she tried to intervene! Yes, he tried to write on his teacher! He tried to put a key into the microwave and cook it. He tried to jimmy the lock to the counselor's office door. And all the while he was apparently speaking in a high-pitched monotone to himself. Not communicating with anyone else.

I asked the teacher if it "felt" like a manic episode to her. She said yes, perhaps it was. She told me he was going to have to be suspended because he had hurt people. Ricky got really upset, because tomorrow is the day that they give out the prizes for the magazine drive. I told her that I agreed that he should be suspended. Eventually the teacher, feeling sorry for him because he had worked so hard to sell all of those magazine subscriptions, and also not wanting me to miss work, said he could come to school but for tomorrow and Friday he is on in-house suspension... He will be walked to and from his mainstream classes and he will not get any computer time or extra privileges. And he will get his prizes. I thought she was being VERY generous given the situation!

Getting into the van to leave, Ricky told me he was ashamed of what he'd done, and I told him that he should be. It was good to hear him say that though. So many times he does not take responsibility at all.

Later, while Ricky was in his group therapy, I got a call back from the psychiatrist, whom I'd had paged right after Ricky and I had left the school. He seemed alarmed and confused by the incident. He wants the teacher to write out a narrative of what happened and for me to blog/journal/whatever so we keep close track of these things. And if they keep happening then we have a record of them.

Ricky and I also saw his therapist together today and talked about it. He asked the hard questions like why he'd done those things, and Ricky had no answers. He remembered doing most of them (still claimed he hadn't tried to poke anyone with his pencil) but didn't know why.

Frustrating.

Got Ricky out of his group early, by 6. I took the three kids through the Jack in the Box drive through for dinner and then to downtown San Jose for Ricky's Social Security medical exam.

I filled out several pages of paperwork. The question that really cracked me up was the one where I was supposed to name off all of his hospitalizations. He has been in the hospital around a dozen times. I guessed at the dates. I think I got it pretty close. I do remember when he has had all of his surgeries, at least. Those I was able to list just fine.

The exam went better than I expected. The doctor was actually a pediatrician with knowledge of CF and he had good rapport with Ricky. Ricky showed him all of his scars and his port and the doctor looked in his nose and ears and mouth and listened to his lungs. He reported that Ricky's lungs sounded like those of someone with lung disease. ;) Glad he cleared that up!!

I had brought Ricky's portable compressor and neb meds with us, so he did his treatments on the way home. Got everyone to bed and now... It's time for me to do the same.

(Oh and... The picture on this entry is Ricky wearing the Disney Year of a Million Dreams ears that I apparently won in a sweepstakes. I have entered this one dozens of times and this is the first prize I have won! I took pictures of each of us wearing the ears for our Daily Mugshots. Also, day before yesterday Ricky got a $5 gift certificate for Six Flags in the mail that he won. The grand prize was a party for 100 people at Six Flags. The $5 gift certificate? I'll probably sell it on CraigsList or something. Not paying admission just to be able to use it!)

More ears...

I finally won a Disney sweepstakes!
Misty with ears!
Andrew with ears!
(Andrew's not really sad, just being silly)


(And PS I still think it's cool that Ricky's psychiatrist suggested I blog something...!)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Ricky today

I thought Ricky might be well enough to go to school today, but I should have known better... When I have been on Prednisone it has taken 2-3 days for me to start feeling a little better.

He got up before me this morning. He even had breakfast. :) But he said his chest was tight and there was mucus in his throat that kept coming up (ew, I know) and he had not gotten dressed yet. I made the executive decision, after a discussion with Ricky, to keep him home. So I called out sick to work and stayed home with him.

Ricky stayed comfortable on the couch and I got some stuff done around the house. I kept Misty home. While she napped, Ricky and I had some bonding time. :)

I spoke with Ricky's teacher and she was saddened to hear that he was sick. Today he missed picture retakes (the ones he had taken a month ago were pretty awful because he had a sinus infection at the time and was miserable) and also missed turning in his magazine fundraiser stuff. Luckily all of the orders he got (15 of them at last count!) were online, so that shouldn't matter.

I also spoke with his mental health professionals today. I canceled the meeting we are supposed to have at the house on Friday just because things are so uncertain AND I may end up working that day to make up for missing at least three days of work this week.

In the afternoon, Ricky had individual therapy followed by group therapy. Apparently he was fairly regressive in individual therapy, rather like a 2 year old according to the therapist. This may have been a product of his not feeling well or the Prednisone affecting his mood. However, he did fine in group therapy. He is the youngest and paradoxically most focused person in his group.

We'll see how things are tomorrow. I hope he starts to get better. I observed him working pretty hard to breathe a few times today, but I know that the Prednisone can help the tightness and maybe help with the breathing difficulty. A while ago, in his sleep, he had a pretty bad coughing fit.

I really hate this disease. I just hope we see some improvement soon. This is four exacerbations in a year; his disease has definitely progressed. Before he went in a year ago, he had been out of the hospital for a year and a half.

That's it for now.

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